Talking about myself when tragedies are happening worldwide. As we all do, daily, all the time.

Today I worked an extra hour and stayed later than that even to book the many days off I have planned for the next few months. By the time I finally reached the halfway point of my journey home and ran for and missed a bus I decided; fuck it, I can walk home and I could do with the exercise. For balance I bought a bag of chips and spent an hour walking back home while only three buses passed me.

Why am I telling you this?

Because in the first 20 minutes of that walk home, I'd actually come up with the opening few paragraphs of what could have been this blog. Unfortunately/fortunately, I was distracted by music and the built up prose dribbled out of my ears, lacking long term traction. Excuse me while I try to do it's (lack of) memory justice.

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I'm a busy guy. It doesn't really occur to me until other people comment on it but it's true. I have some sort of plan for at least half of the days off I'm given and my evenings are often spent keeping up with Twitter and Tumblr while consuming media with the appetite of a starved and angry badger. Yet it took a day of unfulfilled lazing in front of the TV for me to realise that my new found busyness is just one aspect of a person that has really changed in the last two years.

A little under two years ago, me and my boyfriend split up. In the time since I've made almost all of the internet friends I have now, have travelled up and down the country (mostly down) to see them and have 'mastered' my finances and general planning of my life. Admittedly, I'm still not the greatest at being on time and I rarely organise any successful social events of my own, but you can't have everything. In the nearly elapsed two months of this year alone I've been to London, Sheffield, Stafford and Heathrow. A good time was had in all. I've sent and received Valentine's cards for (I think) the first time ever and [segue] yes Simon, it was me who sent the banana-based card and no, it doesn't matter that it wasn't reciprocal and I apologise for anything inappropriate I did when we were drunk (because alcohol is totally a valid excuse) [/segue]. I have so many more things planned for this year and I'm starting to get metaphorically itchy feet whenever I'm not moving or planning or accomplishing because I daren't let the momentum wane.

Even so, the New Years Resolutions I accomplished so well during the last year have not really been taken up so well this year. Again in the barely two months of this year, I've not been swimming once. Nor have I made a YouTube video [He said, forgetting that he posted a pointless little vlog that was unplanned and not all that great.]. I've kind of saved some money. I've been to a couple of new places and future different journeys are planned so that's a winner I guess. I've caught up tremendously with Sentai also; being as I am now only 50 episodes behind (up from 80). Sadly the Sentai speed will slow now because the new team that I just started watching, Goseiger, are a bit badly written and the actors are uninspiring.

I have tickets to see comedians and an eye on tours as yet unannounced. I have a list of the various boxsets and series I hope to get watched this year. And yet I have a fairly limited communication with the people I want to spend this time with. I have a complete disjoin to the Birmingham bars and people I used to go out with locally. I have a generally adjacent view to everyone I encounter on a day-to-day basis and I rarely make the encounter when the situation should call for it.

Again, I'm just belly-aching that everything isn't perfect and a little bit "Why don't I have something into which I have put no effort? Waah!" but I feel a bit lonely sometimes when half the people I'd like to speak to are far away and most of the methods of which to start that conversation without travel appear to me to be an invasion of me upon them and therefore unwanted and "Waah! No one wants to talk to me even though I make no attempt to talk to them! Waah!".

So yeah. I blogged about it. Maybe the above'd be a little shorter if I regularly got these feelings out in the open, say with a picture attached. I wonder where I could do that...